Amish "Friendship" Bread

Mood: humorous

So my neighbor stops by the other day. "Surprise, I've brought you some Amish friendship bread" she says. Well that got me excited, the way to my heart is definitely food, and baked goods are a plus! So she hands me this bag of goo and say "just follow the directions!" Hmmm, it doesn't look like bread... but hey, food's food right! So I take it inside and open it up, I dip my finger in and take a nice bike lick... eww. My neighbor not only brought me a bag of goo, she brought me a rotten bag of goo.

So here I am trying to figure out what I did to piss off my neighbor so bad that she didn't even try to disguise the rotten bag of goo as something that at least resembled bread. I didn't run over her cat, the dog hasn't pooped in her yard in weeks, maybe because I didn't invite her to my birthday... Then I notice the piece of paper she also "gifted" with.

Come to find out, it really is bread, it's just not made yet. Hmmm. Now what kind of "friend" gives someone bread that's NOT EVEN MADE YET?!!!! As I read these cruel "directions" further, I also find out that not only do I have to bake (eek!), IT TAKES TEN DAYS TO MAKE IT!!! Ten days?!!! Tempting my taste buds with the idea fresh baked bread and then finding out I have to make it myself AND wait ten days just to eat it is just plain rude!

What the heck is wrong with the Amish? their definition if the word "friend" must be just as confused as their comprehension of such modern conveniences as the "bakery."

I tease of course, if I hadn't royally screwed it up I'm sure it would have tasted great because the bag of goo I in turn gave my "friend" Jen came out pretty darn delicious

Mine unfortunately ended up in the garbage can, which is why I made a long overdo visit to the bakery.

(. Here are some pics so that when someone shows up on your doorstep with a bag of goo, you'll know what you're getting yourself into instead of getting distracted by the words "friendship" and "homemade bread")