My head is still spinning...

We had a one of those experiences tonight that just shakes you, it is so unreal. I've been playing it over and over in my head just trying to gain the most meaning and feeling awe at God's hand in my life.

We are in California, Ivan is here on business. I surprised him as soon as he got back to the hotel and said, I planned a little drive, grab your stuff, lets go. We decided to pick up pizza on the way.

I ran in the pick up the pizza and when I got back to the car I told Ivan I had a sick feeling in my stomach that something was wrong. "Maybe we shouldn't eat this pizza" I said half jokingly, "maybe it's going to make us sick or kill us" But that seemed silly so I ate some anyway. "It probably doesn't mean anything, I get these feelings sometimes" I tell Ivan as we drive away.

Shortly later we came upon slowed traffic and noticed that a car was waving another car to pass him but the other car wouldn't pass him. I got inpatient and passed a couple cars, then I noticed that the slow car was swerving all over the road and the car behind it was flashing it, trying to keep it from swerving into oncoming traffic and probably trying to get him to pull over. I decided to pass them and as I did I noticed that the driver was very elderly.

Instantly I was completely heartsick over this elderly man swerving down the road. I told Ivan we need to turn around. He was like "what for, what could we possibly do?" That other car taking care of it. We argued back and forth for a few minutes. "We need to go back, I have a feeling that we need to go back" So Ivan said okay and I flipped around and passed the car again going the other directing. I quickly flipped around again, and expected to catch up with him quickly, but after about a mile we hadn't seen him, so I thought maybe he had tuned off somewhere.

Then I saw a car pulled over on the right side facing the wrong direction and a car pulled over just past her so I pulled over and stuck my head out the window but they were too far away to call to. "What is your gut telling you now?" Ivan asks. "Well they don't look distressed" I say, kind of embarrassed that I after all that fuss I don't really want to get out. "Let's keep going"

I start to pull forward around the corner and that's when I see that the old man's car has collided into a wooden electricity pole on the opposite side of the street. The pole was snapped like a Popsicle stick, bent but not fallen over. I jump out of the car and cross the street. There were 3 people already on the scene just standing there staring at the man in the car.

The windshield was cracked and the man was slumped over the passenger seat. I couldn't really see his face. I start asking, "have you called 911?! What did they say? Are we supposed to do first aid?? what did they say? " They all just stood there saying "they're coming, they said they're coming."

I grab Ivan's hand I and with a shaky voice I start to pray out loud "Heavenly Father, if there is anything we can do to help this man right now, please let us know what to do." Then Ivan says he's going to give him a blessing. "Yes" I say. I start running around the car trying to open doors, trying to get a better look at his face to see if he's breathing. None of the doors open, they are all bent. The frontwindows are rolled down. I am climbing on the car circling the car, asking people to decide what we should do. The only first aid I can remember is don't touch them if their neck is traumatized. In retrospect it feels a little like a cop out. He is moving around slightly, so I know he's alive. "Don't try to move sir, help is coming".

At this point people probably think I'm crazy, but nobody else knows what to do either. As more people pull up to the scene I run and ask them if they've had medical training, but no one says yes. 5 minutes have gone by which feels like an hour and I grab Ivan's phone (mine is in the car) and dial 911 and ask them what they want me to do. The formalities seem to take forever "what is your phone number mam? Your location? What city are you in? " I don't have answers to these questions I just want them to tell me what I should do for the man. By the time I get back to the car (I had been pacing on the phone) a woman has climbed into the car and layed the man back in his reclined seat and began doing CPR. He didn't seem to be breathing, there was a huge gash in his forehead and and blood coming from is mouth and he looks so old and frail.

As she is giving him CPR awkwardly crouched in the car next to the man, I stand next to her relaying tips from the 911 guy on the phone. It all feels so surreal and I am wondering what I am doing here if I can't think of anything to do for this man. I look at the brave woman blowing air into his mouth and think, I am so grateful she is here, I don't know if I could do that. Isn't that terrible? He did not seem to be breathing, she couldn't find a pulse. "I need someone to stabilize his head" she said, so I jump in the car, crawl behind his head and hold onto it, for what felt like forever. It was 10 or 15 minutes of CPR before the paramedics got there. He seemed dead, but his head was still warm in my hands. My mind was just spinning trying to think of some way to bring this man back to life but all I could do was sit there with his head in my hands, listening to the air wheeze out of throat as the woman pumped her hands up and down on his chest.

The paramedics arrived and took over. They pulled him out of the car and went to work. A man jumped out of his car and started yelling "Wally, Wally get up! Hey I know this guy!" Eventually I asked someone "Is he alive?" "Not at the moment" was the EMT's response.

The woman who had been doing the CPR was also the woman who had been trying to get him to pull over, she said he appeared to be drunk driving and falling asleep. "I had been following him for miles" she said, we had been driving along a rock canyon wall "he hit the wall 3 times then side swiped a woman in oncoming traffic" (the car we first saw when we pulled over) "Then he just took off at 80 or 90 MPH" The woman didn't see him crash because she had stopped to assist the car he hit. She pulled up shortly after and began CPR"

When it was all over we were just supposed to walk away like nothing had ever happend. I asked an officer "can you tell me the man's name?" "His name was Jacob Kline and he was 90 years old" the officer said with a sympathetic look on his face.

This was not how I had planned to spend my night when I walked out the door an hour ago. But the world is mysterious. It is so shocking and shaking to witness the death of a human being and I know I was meant to be there otherwise I wouldn't have felt the promptings I did. As I was driving back to the hotel I kept asking myself why I was there. I didn't save the man. I didn't do anything for him, I wasn't the one who started CPR I was afraid to touch him, I just watched him die. I mean I know he probably was going to die no mater what anyone did, he very old and severely hurt, and I didn't have the medical knowledge to do anything that would make a difference anyway, but then why did God put me there?

Then Ivan said "you know, right before we pulled around that corner I had the thought that I was going to be giving someone a blessing but I didn't have any oil which seemed strange at the time." He didn't know the man's name either so he did the best he could giving the man a blessing of comfort. That is why we were there. I don't know why but we were supposed to give that man a blessing before he died.

It was a very scary and very sad experience, I cried as we drove home, thinking that this man was probably a father and grandfather to someone. But this experience is such a testament of God's hand in my life, and the power of the priesthood. I am so grateful for the priesthood and the opportunity we have to bless others with it.

I hope Jacob Kline is peacefully traveling to a happy place right now. Hopefully he's not driving there ;)